so as stated, this is kinda random.
I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. i already failed once at it, don't want to fail again. but i know i have found an awesome guy, whom i very much want to marry. we talk about getting married and eventual kids and stuff like that. i have been with this wonderful man for a year and a half now. and though in the long run, that's not a very long time, you have to understand that we have been friends for 11 years. a lot of friends of mine have been getting married recently(or engaged), some people i know have started to have kids, and i sit here in my parents house, already tried it once and got burned. i am very happy for these people. but i just want my life to move faster again. i want it to be June already so we can be together. i want that special moment that i didn't get before. i was a proposal, and an engagement and a wedding. i want the kids and the home. i want it all now. but i know i have to continue to wait. patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace, and grace is a little girl who doesn't wash her face. i know this is random and rambly, but this is my journal, not yours. i've been watching proposal videos, and i even caught myself looking at rings today. this is insane. why am i so girly about these things sometimes?! I love you James (because i know you will read this at some point). and i want you to propose on your own time. i just wish it was now.